What should I do? Please advice.

Dear Diary,

I am a bit disturbed with my job performance. After giving birth, I can solely say that, my job performance drop and I did not perform well in everything that I do.

What is the cause?

At first, I believe that I just giving birth and all the superb energy totally gone. So, waited for 2 3 months by hoping that everything will go back to normal; unfortunately no at all.

Then, I was busy with my brother wedding. All my focus to his wedding and lot of things I put aside.

And now, what is another reason?

It is because of new system - EPICOR!

Bila nak suruh focus satu benda, lagi satu benda mesti di oversightkan. Kalau tak, mcm mana nak concentrate. How I wish that I am able to do many things and receive good feedback in return.

Hari neh banyak issue pasal AR where actually due to my oversightness and don't have focus, I faced many problems. Especially on Receivable part.

Terasa mcm tak layak jadi senior/team leader/section head!

Semua pasal customer mcm tak update dalam kepala aku. Arghhh, kenapa aku tak mcm dulu???

Kalau dulu, sebut A .. Aku boleh list down kan semua cerita dia! Skang tidak lagi! Everything I have to refer my checklist..

One thing, yang I really frust.. All my hardwork yg disimpan dlm my hard disk corrupted last year

Semua valuable info, my formula, my hardwork, my export sales history habis! And now, bila cerita apa2, I have to recall everything and bila disoal siasat, aku takde proof nak tunjuk. Sebab all emails and files gone mcm tuh sajer.

Bullshit! Pressure bila ingat balik..

Esok dateline EPICOR workflow.. Tapi satu apa tak buat sebab hari neh satu hari busy with addhoc question from my superior.

What should I do? Should I stay? Resign?

When I request more manpower to assist me, alasan mereka x perlu. Tapi, dengan kudrat yg ada skang.. I am not able to complete everything!

Ada org nasihatkan supaya kerja lebih masa. Hurm, bila lebihkan sini.. Anak suami pulak terabai. Tersepit!!

Dulu masa tengah ada akal pikiran yang baik, aku nampak chances aku kat sini terang lagi bersuluh! Berkobar kobar kerja.. Tapi skang, rasa diri neh mcm tak berguna. Bila nak gi kerja rasa tak bersemangat langsung..

Aku masih berharap ada sinar utk aku di penghujung/pertengahan jalan aku di sini.......

Aku frust, sedih, kecewa dengan apa yg berlaku pada aku skang neh! I can't perform well and still not reach at my boss target/point.

Masihkah ada sinar?

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone